A suspicious Irish dad has tarnished the nation’s youth by classifying everyone under the age of thirty who drives a nice car as a drug dealer.
Dermot O’Neill(58), made the shocking statement while trying to dissuade his twenty four year old son, Andrew, from buying an Audi A4, claiming he’ll be “forever getting pulled over by the police” because “the only people his age who drive nice cars are drug dealers”.
“He(Andrew) shouldn’t be going around spending large sums of money like that on a car,” Mr. O’Neill explained to Wunderground earlier. “He should be driving something a little more befitting of his age like Renault 5 or an Austin Metro. Only drug dealers and pimps drive those fancy cars with their electric windows and airbags, there’s a lot to be said for a good honest banger in this world,” he angrily stated.
“I had five children by the time I was his age, he should be out having a young family like I did,” advised Mr. O’Neil, a devout catholic who refers to condoms as the “Devil’s wetsuits”, “not worrying about what size wheels to get on his new car. I was truly at my happiest when I was scraping by to put food on the table -and six pints of Guinness in my belley- every night,” continued Mr. O’Neill, who in true Irish fashion associates being miserable with happiness.
“Sure if you don’t spend all of your disposable income on your children what else are you going to resent them for for the rest of your life?” he asked resolutely.
Mr. O’Neill who lists racial profiling as one of his hobbies on his Plenty Of Fish profile also believes that anyone who wears a turban is a potential terror suspect, any man who is nice to children who aren’t his own or that of a close family member is paedohile and that girls wearing short skirts are “asking to be raped”.
