An unnamed source from within Disney has confirmed that both 2ci and 2cb are set to star as droids in the latest edition of the Star Wars movie franchise.
The designer drugs have seen their stock rise in recent years after the explosion of online drug stores such as Silk Road and Black Market Reloaded. Their ready availability and cheap cost have made the duo extremely popular with young party goers and that popularity is set to rocket after being cast as droids by Star Wars director J.J. Abrams.
The source has confirmed that the hallucinogenic powders will play the “cool beepy robots”, also known as astromech droids made famous by R2-D2 in the original trilogy, not “the annoying posh British one”, or C-3PO, who many have described as the Calvin Harris of the robot world.
The source did however show a level of uncertainty as to whether or not recreational drugs will be able to carry off the role of a droid whose responsibilities will include mechanical work and interfacing with the mainframe of large spacecrafts, “I’m just not sure how J.J. sees this working. They’ve definitely got suitable names but they’re just powders, I don’t know what he’s thinking to be honest with you.”
“I know it’s not the 70s anymore and you can’t just go around locking dwarfs in robot suits for ten hours a day but there had to be a more practical solution than this,” offered the source. “J.J. has become totally obsessed with 2ci and 2cb ever since he tried it at a party and thought he was looking through a portal into space, he thinks it’s the key to huge success, I think it’s the early stages of a complete mental breakdown.”
“I don’t know if he’s planning on having big lumps of 2ci and 2cb carved into robots or if he’s just planning on painting stripes on bags of drugs,” he suggested, “but I don’t think it’ll matter anyway because the only way this will work is if he personally stands at the doors of every cinema and forces everyone coming to watch the movie to take some 2ci and 2cb.”
J.J. Abrams, who has been “caning it hard” lately, is also set to experiment with other drug related characters such as Lood Skywalker, Hash Solo, Jar Jar Bongs, E-woks and Princess Acid-ala in the upcoming movies.`
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