David Guetta has today lost a legal battle with the European Publishing Standards board after his request to name an anthology of is popular hits “The Best Of David Guetta” was rejected on the grounds that his music can’t be described as the best of anything.
According to the EPS for something to be considered the best of anything it must adhere to stringent standards of quality and excellence, something which they claim the music of David Guetta does not do.
“We’ve no problem titling albums the best of this person or the best of this genre,” claimed EPS spokesperson Christopher Millet. “But unfortunately Mr. Guetta’s music isn’t the best of anything, it’s not even the best of David Guetta, he can do better.”
“The best has to suggest a degree of excellence in the chosen musical genre which is founded on innovation and artistic integrity,” he continued, “something which isn’t immediately apparent when listening to the back catalogue of the man who wrote the lyrics ‘I’ve gotta find some words to describe this girl without being disrespectful’ and then went on to be immediately disrespectful, calling her a ‘sexy bitch'”.
“Is that worthy of the adjective ‘best?'” he added.
The board claimed that they would allow Mr. Guetta to use alternative names for the anthology CD that “sound more fitting for the level of aesthetic merit that the music has” with some even suggesting titles like “EDM type pop music for teenagers by David Guetta”, “The Poor To Medium Output of David Guetta” and “Noises what David Guetta made that some people like to dance to but most people think is subpar”.
The commission concluded by suggesting that this album “just wasn’t the best of David Guetta” and that, like most EDM producers working today, he’s capable of making much better music that “would warrant the tagline ‘best of'” but instead chooses to make EDM for a pay day.
