A man who decided to quit drinking in his annual doomed new year’s resolution attempt has come to the conclusion that “resolutions are overrated” while considering whether or not to go for a drink after work this evening.
Michael O’Neil, a twenty four year old insurance salesman from Dublin, Ireland, also admitted that he “always knew” he’d eventually succumb to the temptation of alcohol and that he only said he’d quit it “to have something to say” when asked if he had made any new year’s resolutions.
“I’m probably definitely gonna go for a few drinks after work,” admitted O’Neil at lunch time. “We didn’t really have a Christmas party so there’s a good few people from the office heading to the pub,” he explained while binning his kale juice and salad in exchange for a can of coke and sausage sandwich. “It won’t be anything too mad just eight or nine pints.”
“I was never seriously going to stay of the gargle anyway,” he continued later in the designated smoking area. “Sure if I’m being honest I’ve already failed because the party I was at on New Year’s Eve went on well into the first of January and I was drinking the whole time so I’d only be fooling myself if I continued the charade.”
“Anyway it’s been six days since I’ve had a drink now and that’s a good day or two longer than I’d usually go without drinking and I’m not feeling any benefits,” he explained while justifying his impending resolution failure. “So it’s a waste of time anyway, I’m better off on the drink, at least that way I’ll have something to look forward too at the weekends and help get me through a week’s work in this shit hole.”
“I’m pretty sure the main reason I was giving it up was to save money anyway, I’m only twenty four so I don’t really care about hangovers or health or any of that shite,” he continued. “So I might just sneak a few cans in with me and give up paying pub prices instead of giving up actual drinking, that seems a much better option.”
According to experts approximately ninety percent of all New Year’s resolutions have now been broken and approximately ninety percent of people who said they had not yet broken theirs are liars.
