World famous drug brand, ecstasy, has today fought off stiff competition to be named the official sponsor of dance music at a prestigious dance music event in Miami.
Also in the running for the coveted title of Official Sponsor was anesthetic wonk-powder ketamine, the practice of referring to songs as choons, human man Pete Tong, Reebok and Budweiser.
“We’re just delighted to have won this coveted title and look forward to continuing our long and fruitful relationship with dance music,” claimed an ecstasy spokesperson Garry Ease. “To commemorate the victory we’re going to put out a line of 250mg ecstasy tablets with Frankie Knuckles’s face on one side and a dollar sign on the other.”
In its capacity as official sponsor, ecstasy, will be made available at every event where dance music is played while also being constantly associated with dance music wherever it appears in print or visual media.
“We’ve been unofficially partners for quite a while now,” claimed Garry. “Going all the way back to the early 80s we’ve been helping to define clubbing culture with our potent amphetamines, so to finally be recognised for that impact is a real thrill.”
Although ketamine nominally lost out as being dance music’s sponsor, most commentators in the scene believe that it will be taken on as an unofficial junior partner alongside weed and mephedrone.
“Most dance music fans are now polydrug takers so there is a place for those smaller, lesser known drug brands on the spectrum to have a place within dance music,” claimed dance music spokesperson Ricardo Villalobos, who was ecstasy’s date for the prestigious ceremony held in Miami. “All drugs are beautiful and deserve to be recognised for their impact on our scene.”
