EDM bean-counters, Axwell & Ingrosso, have today drawn the ire of the art world after they boastfully proclaimed the work of Renaissance genius Leonardo Da Vinci as amateur after the duo managed to complete a colouring book without going outside the lines.
“For us, the work of the Renaissance painters like Michelangelo and Da Vinci is, in the nicest way possible, amateur,” confirmed Axwell from the top bunk of the duo’s shared quarters at the London Hilton. “Sure they invented perspective, rediscovered the skills thought lost in antiquity and revolutionised Western art but they didn’t really make any money out of it.”
“I don’t expect a Renaissance art purist to consider this crayon doodle I just done of me and Seb counting money as art, but that’s totally understandable,” added Axwell, brandishing a crude drawing of two stick figures with impossibly large penises holding aloft dollar bills.
The former members of Swedish House Mafia went on to lambast the art world, with its pretense of cultural relevancy, free expression and integrity as “a bunch of incompetent and naive amateurs drawing pictures of themselves in their own blood for fun and no money”.
“Someone like Leonardo Da Vinci, on the basis of the fact that his paintings didn’t really make him much money in his lifetime, is a bit of a loser and not very relevant to art history,” claimed Ingrosso, whose teeth bore the hallmarks of having been chewing crayons for several hours. “The guy who painted the Coca Cola logo or the McDonald’s sign pisses all over Da Vinci.”
The duo made the outlandish assault against art at the launch of their Swedish House Mafia Memorial Colouring Book which features 250 identical pictures of the progressive house producers with their hands in the air behind some decks, basking in the adulation of morons.
“I managed to stay inside the lines on pretty much all of the them,” boasted Ingrosso. “I even used the right colours and everything. I’ll probably sell the resulting pictures, that’s what art’s all about.”
“Yeah sure Leonardo invented a helicopter and designed buildings in his spare time but could he use a crayon to colour Seb’s hair the right colour? Doubtful. Guy is an amateurish clown.”
A spokesperson for the vibrant underground art scene, Tobi Billingsworth, claimed that “nobody who appreciates art, takes it seriously and works in it need bother themselves with the opinion of two irrelevant sellouts like Axwell & Ingrosso”.
“Someone who makes art caring about what Axwell & Ingrosso think,” concluded Tobias, “is like a Michelin-star chef being intimidated by a disabled teenager trying to open a can of beans with a spoon.”
