A committed anti-drugs activist has today attempted to prove that people could overdose from cannabis only to fail spectacularly when he just ate some chocolate before falling asleep laughing.
30-year-old Graham Yeorvil has been campaigning against the dangers of cannabis ever since he saw the film Cheech & Chong as a child and became traumatised by Chong’s face, the psychedelic colours and stoner comedy tropes.
“I’m committed to a world where people aren’t all burning the tips of their fingers with hash resin and watching Countdown in a relaxed stupor that doesn’t harm anyone,” he raged. “Did you know that four thirds of people who smoke cannabis can’t do even the most rudimentary of maths?”
Witnesses claim that Graham wanted to disprove the scientific fact that it is impossible to overdose on cannabis by smoking as much as he could to induce overdose before a team of medical professionals would administer the life saving care he would need.
“I’m willing to risk becoming slightly tired and possible brain warping in order to prove the dangers of this horrible disgusting drug,” said Graham moments before he began dosing himself with cannabis. “I’ll smoke as much hash-weed sticks as it takes until my heart stops then no more children will go needlessly relaxed or eat sandwiches because of this filthy poison.”
Reports from the overdose attempt claim that it became obvious that Graham had failed to die from cannabis consumption when after two sliffs he found himself pigging out on chocolate and watching Adam Sandler movies and laughing.
“He smoked about an eight throughout the morning, watched two movies before playing some videogames,” claimed a member of the medical team brought in to make sure Graham didn’t harm himself. “He’s fallen asleep now after eating a whole tub of Ben & Jerry’s Caramel Chew Chew.”
“There was a fit of giggles at about 12.30 that caused him to roll off the couch and almost hit his head,” concluded the paramedic. “Another time he mildly burned his fingertips when taking a pizza out of the oven but came no closer to dying, unfortunately for him. He’s going to be so disappointed that he smoked hash and woke up alive.”
LMAO, do some research. Weed actually has medicinal benefits and its way safer than alcohol and tobacco for recreational use. If this article is real, that guy is a moron.
this article is not real
I clearly stated IF this article is real.
Some say cucumbers taste better pickled.
I like ’em both ways. ^.^
I’d watch that.
Wow
What?..
Irony!
What?
Clearly stated IF the article was real.
“that four thirds of people” u stupid fuck … 4 3rds …. is this for real ??!??! so he is actually referring to 133% of the people … any crack head will do math better than ur stupid ass :))))
No sarcasm lost on you bruh
don’t do satire?
Sry … if it was satire i missed it because i really get defensive when i hear people talking nonsense … sry if i missed the actual point of the article đ … my bad đ
so you get defensive when other people are talking nonsense; causing you to attack them with nonsensical rants? Sounds legit …
every anti-drugs activist should do the same ! RESPECT đ
Satire people…Satire..lol
Oh the mind games that were missed…
lmao I almost rolled off the couch reading this..bbwwwhahaha
I almost dropped my bowl…lmao…
… my mom once told me that it takes a SUPREME EFFORT of WILL to genuinely and dangerously OD on marijuana, and that you’ll usually fall asleep well before the active ingredients reach dangerous levels. Of course, this assumes that you don’t mix your drugs.
The writing on this page is shit. Try reading the Daily Mash. Oh, you probably do.