According to reports, Glasgow drug dealers have been welcoming the arrival of Syrian refugees to the city’s International Airport, who they claim are an untapped resource for their business, with open arms.
While many Scots waited on their arrival to simply offer hearty welcomes, one reporter spoke to Young Tony from Pollock, who proclaimed, “It’s a great business opportunity for us all. New faces means new business, so I’ve come down with a few samples of proper and MDMA and I’ll distribute them suitably as they wait on their luggage.”
When asked if he thought the refugees would be in a financial position to purchase such goods, he said, “Probably not, many of my customers aren’t, but I offer the TUF (Tick Until Friday) scheme, whereby I’ll loan you a few grams until Friday, then I’ll simply send you a message every day that week to remind you that you owe me it. Then when Friday finally arrives, I’ll phone you anywhere between five and twenty times to remind you once again. I find it’s hugely beneficial for both parties.”
He also took the time to point out that many would be foolish not to benefit from his deals as he had come to an arrangement with his mate, Pat, in Duty Free, who had agreed to waiver the 5p baggie charges on each bag.
However, Pat was not the only entrepreneurial Glaswegian on show that day after another man, by the the name of Peter, could be seen distributing business cards with Peter’s Dial-A-Booze embossed on the front, while shouting “Cracking deals on Bucky!”
It was evident that many of Immigrants were in high spirits after their arrival on Scottish soil, particularly those who had managed to obtain free samples. Some of which who were now gathered round a docking station in Dixons Travel, gurning and dancing to Jackmasters latest mix.
However, it was not all sunshine and rainbows that evening, after Glasgow airport staff reported that one dealer was later arrested for possession as he attempted to enter a taxi at the front of the terminal building and could be heard shouting “Fucking refugees, I knew you would be nothing but trouble!” while he was forcibly placed into the back of a Police van.
