News emerging from the Houses of Parliament this evening indicates that Tinder babies are to be officially recognised as an ethnic minority in the United Kingdom from the beginning of next month.
Tinder baby numbers have risen steadily in the UK since the app’s introduction in 2012 made it easier than ever for singles to hook up and engage in casual sex.
“In the UK alone, we already have about three million registered Tinder babies,” confirmed Government spokesperson Reginald Swiperite. “As of the beginning of this year, world wide Tinder baby numbers are estimated to be somewhere in the region of fifteen to twenty million, already making them a very significant ethnic group.”
“We’re seeing a growing trend where mothers are simply writing the word Tinder in the space reserved for the father’s name on the birth cert, which makes it practically impossible to trace their ethnicity accurately,” continued Swiperite. “That’s why we’ve decided to create a whole new ethnicity, which will allow us exploit and repress them accordingly.”
“We’re predicting that by the year 2021, when the first Tinder babies start to turn eighteen, we will be looking at a worldwide population of over five hundred million Tinderites, which would make them one of the largest minority groups in the world,” explained Sweiperite. “When we add these numbers to all the other dating apps that will be available between now and then, the world could literally be over run with app related bastards. That‘s why we’re putting the hard work in now to ensure we are properly prepared when that day arrives.”
According to experts, at the current rate of Tinder babies being born, the entire population of the world could be over taken by Tinderites by the year 2045.
