American presidential candidate Donald Trump has claimed that Azealia Banks would be his ideal woman, if only she was white.
Speaking after a recent political rally, which bore a remarkable resemblance to rallies held in Nuremberg, Germany, between 1923 and 1938, Trump claimed that he thought Banks would make the perfect wife “were in not for her genetics”.
“I heard this really outspoken woman speaking a couple of weeks ago and I pretty much fell in love with her straight away,” Trump explained to a gathering of morons. “She was telling some little immigrant boy that he smelled of curry and calling him a fag. It was brilliant, spoken like a true American patriot.”
“I remember thinking to myself that if my current marriage doesn’t work out I’d happily make her my fourth wife,” continued the man who’s only redeeming factor is that he’ll probably be dead within twenty years. “And then I seen her, sure she has an ass that I’d tap all day long, but she wasn’t white, I was shocked and a bit disappointed if I’m being honest.”
“Usual people who are ballsy enough to air their racist ideologies in public like that are rich and white like me,” continued the owner of the world’s worst wig. “The fact that she’s not shows she’s got cahonas but that’s not enough for me, you can call me an old fashioned, bigoted, old, racist fool if you like, but I like my women like I like my milk, white. It’s as simple as that.”
Banks, a known Trump supporter, is believed to have been devastated by Trump’s romantic snub.
“It’s a real pity that nothing will ever happen between me and the D-man,” Banks claimed. “He may be as ugly as a bag of aborted foetuses but he’s hella rich and I think we really could have made some horrible children together. I’ll just have to find myself some other scrawny old rich cracker to take care of me.”
