A British drug addict who was convinced to vote leave in the Brexit referendum, on the promise that it would create more jobs for people like him, is wondering when his new employment will begin.
Mike Strafford, of no fixed abode, is believed to be looking for something with a three day week and involving minimal manual labour.
“I’m really excited to be getting my new job, I’m sick of robbing and begging so it’s going to be nice to be able to support my habit without having to resort to doing them,” claimed Mr Strafford earlier. “I’m just not sure what to do next, do I just sit here and wait for someone to come around and give me the job or do I have to go and ask for it? The politicians weren’t very clear before but I’m sure they’ll let me know soon enough.”
“I’m not really fussy about what I do as long as it’s not one of those shitty jobs the foreigners used to have,” continued Strafford. “All I want is something cushty, like a train driver or a postman, something easy where I don’t have to deal with the public and have plenty of time off to enjoy my drugs.”
“I’m so glad Britain is great again. I think I’ll go and sit outside Downing Street until they tell me what it is I’m going to be doing.”
According to reports, Mr Strafford was “moved on, assaulted and called a junkie scumbag” by police officers shortly after relocating to Downing Street.
