Berghain have announced that they are to open a new “even harder to get into” club in North Korea’s capital Pyongyang.
The Berlin based club have been in negotiations with North Korean supreme leader Kim Jong Un since the beginning of the year and have finally reached an agreement about the club’s location.
“We’ve found a beautiful, central location in Pyongyang to house our latest project,” claimed Berghain’s creative director Archibald Schmidt. “We really want to bring the Berghain ethos to North Korea and create a venue that will allow our guests to relax in a safe and non judgmental environment, if they can get in, which will be practically impossible.”
According to political sources in North Korea, the club will only be open to high ranking government officials, visiting diplomats and a random selection of paying tourists.
“This is going to be the world’s most exclusive nightclub,” claimed North Korea’s Minister of Culture, Park Ji Mang. “The queues for this club will stretch for miles, all across Pyongyang and will actually be visible from space and, the best thing about the queue is, none of the people in it will have any chance of actually making it inside the club, they’ll most likely be North Korean citizens who are paid a pittance to just stand there.”
Sources have confirmed that the club will cater for no more than fifty guests at any time and will only play “North Korean folk music”, or blatant anti-west propaganda as it is more commonly known.
“There will definitely be some extreme differences between the new club and Berghain,” claimed Berghain doorman Sven Marquardt. “Obviously there won’t be any dark rooms, public affection is frowned upon in North Korea and homosexuality is punishable by death, but that’s never really been a major ethos for us in Berlin, all we wanted to do was create something so exclusive that everyone would talk about it, and we did, the bum sex was simply a byproduct of that. I think we’ll definitely have something similar in Pyongyang, just without the leather chaps and cowboy hats.”
Reports suggest that the original name proposed for the club, Berghain 2, has been rejected and replaced with the more fitting moniker Don’t Even Bother Trying.
