A DJ, who cannot be named for legal reasons and just returned from an extremely lucrative stint on the paradise-esque island of Ibiza, has taken to Twitter today to complain about his banging headache and severe jet lag as a result of the sixty minute time difference between the White Isle and the United Kingdom.
The social media tirade, which occurred at roughly 2pm yesterday afternoon and involved repeated use of such begging phrases as “FML” “too turnt” and “can’t even”, was met with a mixture of retweets and revilement by fans and detractors alike.
Cassie Bae-Yattie, an avid fan of the unnamed DJ and regular social media user, was full of nothing but sympathy and excessive acronyms when she replied to the torrent of tweets, “@DJ_xxxxx omg bbz u were lyk, so gud out thrr. U shuld be proud not sad! #SmashdIt”.
Another Twitter user, Mr Potter Gravesmark, who has worked tirelessly on minimum wage in the Government Department Of Work & Pensions since the late seventies was somewhat less charitable in his response and had this to say, “@DJ_xxxxx Oh fuck’s sake: You literally get paid ten grand to monorail ket and neck free booze whilst lacing together sixty minute’s worth of music, so quantized that even an imprisoned Abu Hamza could mix using only his hook hand, and you want us to feel sorry for you?!”
“I’ve been stuck on a civil servant’s wage in the DoH&P for the past two decades ringing up old cunts to inform them that they are probably going to die cold and alone and that their pensions are worth fuck all because twats like you keep buying property in central London (that you barely ever live in) and are hiking up rents. Try that for feeling shit after work!”
Wunderground has reached out for comment from the DJ on his response to Mr Gravesmark’s sobering tweet to no avail. We also reached out to Mr Gravesmark for details on how he managed to fit two fully punctuated sentences into a 140 character tweet, more details as we have them.
