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November 22, 2016
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Girl Gets Ket Spoon Caught In Septum Piercing

An English girl has had her night well and truly ruined after getting her ket spoon caught in her septum piercing.

Julia Rooney, from Liverpool, was forced to leave Garlands nightclub just minutes after arriving on Saturday night, after the two metal objects became entangled on her face.

“It was fucking boss,” claimed Julia’s friend Keith Mellor. “We just got into the place and she nipped off to the bog to ‘powder her nose’ she came back ten minutes later with the ket spoon dangling from her face, she was so tatted that she didn’t even notice it for about forty five minute at which point she scarpered.”

“I can’t even,” claimed Julia when questioned about the incident by Wunderground. “I’m totally devoed, I love Garlands but I’m going to have to give that place the swerve for the next few months there’s no way I can go back there after this, all my pals have been telling me I was walking around the place like a right divvy.”

“Even when I got home I couldn’t get the spoon and my piercing separated continued Julia. “I had to get me dad to go at it with a bolt cutters. I’m lucky I didn’t lose the tip of me nose. I’m really thinking about giving up ket, but I’ll probably just give up using a ket spoon or get rid of my piercing, it makes snorting anything at least fifty percent harder.”

According to Spoons Ltd., the world’s leading ket spoon manufacturers, tiny spoons are not intended to be used for drugs and anyone putting them up to their nose does so at their own risk.

“Our tiny spoons are designed to deliver tiny portions of sugar and stir tiny cups of tea,” revealed Spoon’s Ltd. CEO Ryan Spoon. “If people with piercings decide to use them to sniff drugs then that’s their choice, we are not responsible for their actions.”

Reports indicate that Julia has decided to keep her septum piercing, because it’s “dead nice”, and is planning to replace her ket spoon with a more traditional “rolled up £5 note” for future ket consumption.

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