English language sources have confirmed that ”moby” is set to become a verb used for describing someone who is being a preachy pain in the ass.
Susie Dent, lexicographer and Countdown’s second hottest female presenter, claims that moby will be included in all major versions of the English dictionary in 2017.
“This is very exciting,” claimed Dent earlier. “It’s not very often that we get a new word, that isn’t some bastardised text talk bollocks that some pricky child has come up with because they’re too lazy to talk properly, so I’m really buzzing about this.”
“I think it’s a word that is desperately needed too,” continued Dent. “There are so many people being total mobys these days, what with all this veganism and all sorts of political correctness, it’s mad. You can call me old fashioned if you want but I totally long for the days when I could eat a burger, wear a leather jacket, laugh at a bloke dressed up as a woman and call someone a faggot without having to look over my shoulder.”
“Nowadays, there are just far too many mobies around for me to really relax and be myself,” revealed Dent. “I wanted to go on Countdown dressed as Janet Jackson for the Halloween special a couple of weeks ago, full black face like, but that moby Rachel Reilly told me I couldn’t, she said it was racist and offensive. Fuck her, and her perky tits, the boring bitch.”
According to rumours, other words set to make it into the dictionary include; “basanov” which means to lose all of your friends, “aoki” which means to act like a clown and “guetta” which means to be a fraud.
