A man who has been applying for a number of warehouse jobs has been left shocked after discovering that going to raves does not count as genuine warehouse experience.
Danny McGoldrick, a college dropout, claims that his employment dreams were shattered after an interviewer broke the devastating news to him.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do now?” the twenty-one-year-old asked during a chat with Wunderground? “I’ve been basing my entire job search on the fact that I’ve spent a lot of time going to raves in warehouses, I honestly thought it would count as good experience but it doesn’t, now I’m back to square one.”
“I was asked what experience I had and I listed off all these parties I’d been to and the lad just looked at me like I had eight heads, two cocks and an elephant trunk. Then, he told me he’d heard everything he needed to hear and sent me home,” continued McGouldrick. “What the fuck else are you going to be doing in a warehouse for a job that you wouldn’t do at a rave? I don’t know, unless they have some other use no one’s ever told me about.”
“I’ve got a bit of a backup plan,” revealed the jobseeker. “There seems to be plenty of sales jobs out there and I know a thing or two about selling bits and pieces, mostly pills at raves, but now, after my warehouse interview, I’m just not sure whether or not I should even mention it. Like, if you can sell pills, you can sell phones but will it be frowned upon? I don’t know what to do.”
“Maybe, I’ll just apply for a job as an animal handler in the zoo and try to explain what my mates are like and how being their friend is like dealing with wild animals but, after the day I’ve had, I’m not even sure if that will work.”
so what, divorce, no job and carpal tunnel wank hands dont count…?