It has sensationally been revealed today that the art of DJing is a massive scam that was dreamt up by turntable manufacturers as a way to offload unsellable turntables.
The conspiracy is believed to go all the way to the top of the DJing industry with companies like Technics, Pioneer and Native Instrument pulling the strings on the biggest lie told to dance music fans since Steve Aoki was declared a world class DJ.
“There’s actually no such thing as beatmatching, mixing, scratching or live sets,” claimed a source who insisted that accusations launched at commercial DJs are just the tip of the iceberg and that all DJs are actually recruited for their willingness to perpetuate the lie that DJing is a thing worth lauding. “The powerful DJing equipment lobby just manufactured an entire lexicon around playing records to make it seem like it was a legitimate form of art when in fact it’s just a dude playing someone else’s music.”
The source claimed that all popular DJs are “in on it” and are paid handsomely to maintain the illusion that DJing is “both something difficult enough to warrant praise but easy enough that anyone can master it by simply buying the Technics or Native Instruments products”.
“Essentially Technics and other turntable companies began to feel that they’d eventually be obsolete so in order to remain relevant and to sell turntables they started popularising the myth of the DJ by pouring millions into promoting DJ culture throughout the world all so that they could keep selling turntables,” continued the whistle blower.
“All the tropes of DJing culture were manufactured as part of this huge marketing drive so that the big tech companies could sell out of date material that required less skill to master than traditional instruments,” continued the source who chose not to be named publicly. “They’re responsible for a massive propaganda drive that makes people like David Guetta and Avicii seem like heroes when in fact they’re nothing more than glorified Pioneer CDJ models.”
The source concluded that turntable manufacturers are also believed to be responsible for “circulating the myth that vinyl sounds better than other formats, the inclusion of the sync button and Afrojack’s entire career thus far”.