Graham

In beard related news, a Shoreditch based barber has confirmed that one of his hipster clients is now more beard than man. Andrew Brush, owner of Brush ‘n’ Kutz, the only barber

A seventeen year old DJ, who only got decks at Christmas and has already mastered the sync function, has confirmed that all music made before 2005 is definitely shit. Robert Walsh, the

A Colombian carpet factory has reportedly been destroyed by American special forces as part of the current War on Rugs. The factory, located deep in the Amazon Rainforest, was reportedly “obliterated” and

Britain’s most annoying fitness guru, Mr Motivator, has sensationally revealed a thirty five year speed addiction. Mr Motivator, real name Derrick Errol Evans, made the shocking admission during an interview with Philip

NASA have announced that extraterrestrials from the recently discovered Trappist-1 planet system are wondering if they’ll be able to guestlist when the eventually arrive on Earth. NASA spokesperson Bobby Rocket claims that

NASA have today announced that one of the planets in the habitable zone of Trappist-1 is likely to be a planet full of DJs, just like Earth. Reports suggest that the planet,

An American dentist claims to have developed a brand new type of “teeth friendly crack” that will not cause any tooth decay. Dentist Paul White believes that his new version of the

A stoner scientist has reportedly been disciplined by his employer after he was caught using the large hadron collider as a bong. Reports indicate that Professor Cheech Marley was attempting to collide

South African DJ Black Coffee has shocked the electronic music community after he was pictured drinking a large cup of, what appeared to be, green tea. Barry Greaves, a twenty three year

A terminally ill EDM DJ has claimed that he has accepted that he is about to die and is actually looking forward to being “a bit more underground” once he has been