Graham

A clubber has claimed he is happy to pay twenty pounds into a nightclub to stand around and have his view obscured by people recording the DJ on their phones. Alan Stuart,

An Englishman has had his head partially melted while watching a video of Nina Kraviz mixing. Peter Goff was rushed to hospital after friends noticed his head had become soft and oddly

A local barman has claimed that he knew you’d come crawling back sooner or later after your latest attempts to “knock the drink on the head” inevitably failed last weekend. Josephs Bloggs

An Englishman has been hospitalised, with supposed Twitter lungs, after smoking an entire joint of hashtag. Reports indicate an ambulance was called to a property in Deansgate, Manchester, where twenty two year

Following a recent spate of tragic nightclub shootings, gun activists in America are campaigning to have nightclubs closed. A small group of gun enthusiasts have claimed that it is “time to stop

In his last speech before being inaugurated as the President of America, an emotional Donald Trump claimed that his only regret about winning the election is that his idol, Adolf Hitler, was

News emerging from Washington today suggests that Donald Trump is planning on getting his daughter, Ivanca Trump, “really drunk” at his inauguration party. While it is not yet clear what Trump hopes

A complete lack of interest in tickets for Donald Trump’s inauguration party has led organisers to offer free admission before eleven pm for tonight’s event. According to sources, less than a quarter

A Russian DJ who was recently spotted playing a set without the decks plugged in has claimed she was actually playing an acoustic set. DJ Sexation, best known for her bouncing sets,