Leading condom manufacturer Durex has claimed that its condoms are too big for EDM Dj’s and will be testing a new range of extra small saggy condoms aimed at the EDM Dj market, to launch sometime in 2017.
EDM Djs, generally regarded as the slowest in the evolutionary chain of the DJ species and long assumed to have extra small penises, have been partaking in vigorous family-planning tests over the last 36 months as teams of leading scientists attempt to stop the would-be profession from procreating.
While the scientists had no problems in getting the artists who took part to use dildos or take pills on a regular basis, they were unable to find an EDM jock with suitable girth to complete the required tests put forth by Durex.
One Dj, who remains anonymous due to the sensitive nature of the testing, simply stuffed his Condom with cake filling before making love to the actual condom for several seconds.
“He seemed completely unfazed by our roars of laughter” claimed Hans Solo, a leading scientist for the company. “He just squeezed the now-tainted cake mixture into a 24 carat gold bowl and enquired as to if we had any ice-cream or not, which of course we did!”
Durex have also announced plans to launch a lube aimed directly at the EDM Dj market, to complement the EDM condom range.
“Yes, we are very excited about this new product, as are the thousands of promoters across the globe who regularly get fucked in the ass by these Djs every time they must pay their fee.”
