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David Guetta World Tour Cancelled After Losing USB Containing His Entire Set

David Guetta World Tour Cancelled After Losing USB Containing His Entire Set

Just minutes before taking to the stage for the first night of his new world tour, “Guetta Life”, David Guetta sensationally announced that he was cancelling the event due to having lost the USB stick which contained his entire set.

Mr. Guetta’s management quickly apologised to all his fans, however all four of them who showed up for the event were said to be massively disappointed with some of them having took the afternoon off from school and rode all the way there on their bikes.

The event has been described as a “cataclysmic fuck-up of spectacular proportions akin to the time Janet Jackson ‘accidentally’ got her tit out at half time of the Superbowl except featuring less nipple piercings” by certain areas of the press. Most notably, us.

Rumours that a jealous Skrillex actually sneaked backstage and stole the USB are unconfirmed, however some witnesses did claim to see a bespectacled androgynous extra from a Manga cartoon with half a haircut hanging around his dressing room just prior to the show.

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David himself was seen scurrying out the back door of the arena like a half-inflated Owen Wilson repeatedly uttering that he couldn’t perform without the USB when tasked by organisers to DJ live.

Despite the claim that all tickets will be refunded one fan interviewed said, “I’m keeping my ticket. Next time I think of doing something stupid, like sticking my wet finger in a wall socket, going to church or attending a David Guetta gig, I’ll just look at this and remember what happened here this night.”

View Comments (119)
  • “DJ” More like a Press Play performer, Sven Vath, Seth Troxler..these are DJ’s and not this idiot. Disgusting.

  • ok jokes about how these big name edm guys cant really djs are getting lame after the 500th time. i think we all got the message.

    • Hard, it is so easy to take the piss out of someone who is famous and in the spotlight. Truth is, half of these people who talk crap about him would not say anything of the sorts to his face – they would probably just kiss his ass.

        • Haha I doubt it mate, purely for the fact that you would get done for assault and probably have to pay him a decent amount of money. Stop being an internet gangster.

      • I actually told him he sucked ass (exact words) @ Ten Days Off (Ghent, Belgium). Back then he wasn’t very famous yet, but he did take the time to shake hands with unknowing degenerates who were so happy to have a DJ in their midst. He just gave me a weird look, turned his back and walked away. It’s like politicians. Not doing any work theirselves, but taking credit whenever they can…

  • i m sorry and i dont like this guy’s music but he is dj for 25 years..and he doesnt need fckin usb sticks..if he wants he records the song on some vinyls and can mix them..i think..

  • Wasting your time energy and worst of all your own good luck you GuettaHATERS. How you people express yourselves about another person Gives Away much more (negative things in this case here) about you, than about the person you are talking about. At least he is a really nice person AND so why not just let the man, He’s not even a hater or any negative rude or mean any such thing!, be happy for his success.

    • SmilaZ this man represents everything terrible about the music industry, his flame needs t be extinguished!

      • 😉 if you got married to someone famous you would more than likely end up living from some hobby of yours if possible as well, so LISTEN you fools! It’s not Guetta’s fault that The INDUSTRY is a giant Fake BlingBling Money-focused ignorant asshole who gives a fuck about how big or small Guetta’s or your Tallent is. Guetta just got lucky in his life(and I worked for him and mett him a few times, and I can only say no wonder he’s INN with the people from his wife’s world! Because’s he’s so Nice n Lovely to have around, a total hippie-boy). It’s all Freakin’ SHOWBUSINESS, it’s all just BUSINESS!, it’s all just connections and money-business. From talent they only just use … about something like was it spices and herbs!

        • not relevant, the discussion revolves around his DJ skills and producer/musical talent. There are people who got into the scene for several reasons: looks, connections, talent, etc. Again, most people don´t care about it, from a musical standpoint this guy is a terrible producer, from a dj perspective he is a terrible dj.

          If you are a lovely, hippy boy you would be better doing something else, people get upset because he is doing something he is not supposed to be doing, he doesn´t even try to give a good show, after all this years he could be doing way, way better than this, you can learn a new language or at least the basis in a matter of months, the same applies to djing, he obviously is not doing his homework.

          Guetta is charging money to play amateur-level sets, a kid would do better than him, DJ Kai for instance. As you said my time and energy are not worth this discussion but i had to clarify this.

          • Supposed to be doing!? WOW!? How about just being happy for others when you see them enjoying their luck!? Why spread hate!? Especially when what you send out comes back to you multiplied!? Sooner or later. ..and sooner is sure better than later, because the later it returns to you the more and more multiplied it is returning. If David Guetta was not supposed to be doing what he is doing he would OBVIOUSLY not be doing it for so long and succeeding with it for so long. Hello!? …but I wish you that GREAT LUCK so you can experience how it is with all it’s good and bad sides.

          • Another important thing is what you do with your Fame/now that all eyes and ears are on you!; at least David Guetta is Good Vibrations in more ways than one, including through his music no matter how tallented or not in whoever’s eyes. He is ANY TIME way better than all the SO TALENTED ones who spread Bad Negative vibes and stupidity.

      • And How do you think he manages to do that exactly!? ESPECIALLY compared to so many people with real good talent who then use their fame to spread Stupidity and even worse than that. …!?!?!?

    • What psychological, sociological, or even a/theological theory or perspective are you using to make this hypothesis? Seriously, if you could get off of your throne of righteousness for a second and enlighten us, it would be great.

      • not Guetta’s fault that The INDUSTRY is a giant Fake BlingBling
        Money-focused ignorant asshole who gives a fuck about how big or small
        Guetta’s or your Tallent is. Guetta just got lucky in his life(and I
        worked for him and mett him a few times, and I can only say no wonder
        he’s INN with the people from his wife’s world! Because’s he’s so Nice n
        Lovely to have around, a total hippie-boy). It’s all Freakin’
        SHOWBUSINESS, it’s all just BUSINESS!

      • If you think spreading hate and anger over music that millions enjoy then that is your problem, so yeah ok go on with your negativity then. Fine with me for you!

      • Because someone elses happiness/joy/success/… should never be your misery as long as you stand with the option to choose to look at the positive hello!? Well, the successfull type is the kind that choose the positive thinking path. …but you people here can do speak n feel however you choose to. -of course.

      • 1 reason could be that What you send out is what you vibe with, and what you vibe with is what you attract. But better yet for a reason would be that we all succeed and get applause in life sooner or later, some more than others, but OFTEN over something which is far from our best talent, AND so often some of the best talents go unnoticed and unawarded. SO YEAH BE HAPPY or misserable over whatever man. Up to you, it’s your vibes=point of attracrtion anyway.

    • Guetta is a frou-frou, vocal mix DJ with no true talent. I am not surprised he had his whole show on a nerd stick to play from his computer. Be a real man and bust out your vinyl!

      • Na yeah okay n so what as long as the dude is a positive influence spreading good vibes and not dum messages like so many other famous people do. WE HAVE ENOUGH HATE AND WARS for nothing all over the globe man! He deserves the good times of success for many other reasons anyway. And just because many DJs act like actors pretending they are doing things LIVE does not mean they are actually all really playing live. Many are just good at pretending in our world. Not to forget!

    • Then stop demanding producers to be DJs, and requiring DJs to produce music to get any good gigs…………..but that’s the problem, people want to go see the person who made the music.

      • So, then they should learn to dj to perform live, or don’t pretend to. Do a different kind of performance, without faking it. Pretty strait forward.

  • And the list of dweebs who don’t realize that this is a satirical website continues to grow…

  • too sad. Stop calling yourself a performer. @StalinGold:disqus: church! Troxler knows what’s up. Please check his EDM-culture interview. His opinion is spott-on

  • being a music lover of course i do not like what he has been doing the last decade and i just can not believe how he got as famous. BUT i saw him back in 1998 in a club in belgrade called underground and he actually was working through his whole set and what he did back then has NOTHING to do with guetta’s music today, he wasn’t bad at all and his music choice and taste were not bad at all….and then all of “post-guetta-things” started happening, he turned into bobo or scooter….i have no other explanation but: this is totally fake, or he got so spoiled and used to doing nothing during his gigs playing only totally prepared sets from a…usb stick 🙂

    • I saw him play before he got famous, and by god, he was one of the worst DJ’s I ever encountered. Not a single mix without (huge) mistakes. My guess is he really needs the premixed sets, or nobody would pay a cent to hear him play. No DJ skills, but a good marketeer 😉

  • Skrillex jealous of Guetta? I think NOT! Skrillex is 100x what Guetta will ever be!

    • That’s like comparing apples to oranges. Both are AWFUL ‘artists’ (I feel silly for even using that word on them).

  • For the love of fucking god why do people still treat these stories as true. This site has been going for a couple of years now and has said time and again it is a satire site. These stories are just jokes, all of them are. Yet people actually believe it!!! Common sense seems to be lost on the internet!

  • This would be hilarious if it were true. The whole ‘set on a stick’ is a sad direction that I’ve seen many of my (former) favorite DJs lazy-ass their way to live performances.

    • Hey, I find one exactly USB like on the pic in my car USB slot, it might be his 🙂

    • Hey, I find one exactly USB like on the pic in my car USB slot, it might be his 🙂

  • “All four that showed up where massively disappointed” good that there where no riots in the arena with so many fans…. 🙂

  • dj is supposed to be and do things live, then that means that only comes and puts all his acts play and show, that’s a vile theft

  • Next Week: David Guetta Tribute Artist making waves with innovative live mixes….

  • So people…. you guys are taking this too seriously! read the disclaimer to the site! ok ok I’ll post it for you 🙂
    Wunderground is a fictionalized, satirical publication. Its content should in no way be interpreted as an actual record of events, unless a story specifically states that its contents are an actual recording of events. These stories are also not intended to be, nor should they be construed as, attempts to predict the future course of any individual or entity, but should be viewed only as parody. Wunderground is not associated with any other news service. Names used in Wunderground stories, unless those of public figures or entities, are fictional, and any resemblance to actual persons or entities is coincidental, unintentional, and accidental. Any event described in Wunderground that actually comes to pass should also be considered coincidental, unintentional, and accidental. And pretty damned amazing.

    The content of Wunderground is of a mature nature and is intended for use by those age 18 and over.

    Any and all contents of Wunderground is © Copyright 2013 by Wunderbubble LTD, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without express written consent.

  • This just in!!! David Guetta and Steve Aoki tragically die by severing their carotid arteries attempting to use something called “vinyl.” Apparently they had no idea where these “records” were supposed to go so they began throwing them at each other like frisbees until the freak accidents occurred.

    And then this site shut down forever because the authors ran out of material. Oh wait, I guess there’s still Molly.

    (Kudos for getting his lawyer’s attention – that was awesome, but, uh, got any new targets?

  • Let’s celebrate today’s one of the biggest (fake) musician.
    No USB, no tour
    Say a big thank you to the music industry who developed this guy…

  • Ha, ha , ha ,ha!! I so wanted this to be true! Some dude playing music off his Macbook and waving his hand in the air like some kind of palsied mutant is not a musician sheeple!!

      • Haters gonna Hate. Of course is for real, there are hundreds of online services that provide storage, this guy cancelled the tour because he lost his usb, like we are in 2014 people still going around with usb key…come on, how can be so DUMB?…and even he does not know, he just have ONE USB? double DUMB.

        • a) This is a satirical article
          b) It’s “genius”, not “genious”.

          Double dumb indeed.

          • …are you quite touchy, isn’t it, mate? 😀 (i was just wondering how many language do you speak…) 😀

  • A DJ could show people what they actually do…and people would still be underwhelmed.The only amazing thing about DJing is the amount of people at the gigs. That is all. A good band=fun to watch.A good DJ=?? I suppose if you get stoned enough,and the DJ wears a big helmet…anything is possible.

  • If this were true….

    It was as advertised, “a cataclysmic fuck-up of spectacular proportions.”

  • Look at all the ignorance in this article… “Manga cartoon”??? It’s called ANIME YOU FUCKHEAD!!

  • Look at all the ignorance in this article… *smh* “Manga cartoon”?!?! It’s called ANIME YOU FUCKHEAD!!

  • Bad jokes. Bad writing. David Guetta may not be good, but your opinion should not be found in article. Quit making bad jokes and deliver the news.

  • David guetta sensationally announced that he was cancelling the event due to having lost the usb stick which contained in the entire set. And i hope this is true what he said in the above post . if you want to get more information related to our usb please go to our website.promotional usb sticks.

  • Unbelievable!!!, so many people with so much pain-in-the-ass issues over stuff that millions even happen to enjoy!? Incredible WOW!?

  • Well anyway DJ’ing is not even being a real musician so fuck all counts here other than that that it is playing creatively and estetically with sounds, and some just do that better than other which anyway also depends on the listener, like it is with Everything else as well anyway. like when the beauty is in the eye of the beholder! freakin same here. this page just happens to be full of haters and some few really primitive even proletarian waste of space people that’s all.

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