Iconic Ibiza party spot DC10 has announced that they are set to remove all of the club’s walls in a bid to reduce overcrowding issues.
Spokesperson for the club Andy Rodrigues claimed that there was a total of ten walls that would need to be removed before the club could reach its full potential.
“Things haven’t been going too great for us here in DC10 so far this season,” explained Mr Rodrigues. “We’ve had some issues with the cops and some of our resident DJs and most loyal customers have been complaining about overcrowding, we really don’t want to have to reduce our capacity so I think we’ll have to get rid of ten walls and open up the space in here a little.”
“The problem with the ten walls we’ve got here is that people just don’t want to see them anymore, our clients want to be able to move around and have the freedom to express themselves when they’re in the club,” continued Rodrigues. “But these ten walls constantly put people in boxes and make them feel uncomfortable.”
Rodrigues went on to explain that, despite the ten walls being very good at their job, they are no longer needed in Ibiza and everyone would be much better off without any walls at all.
“It’s the twenty first century, do we really need walls anymore? Especially these ten walls,” continued the club spokesperson. “We’ve got so many options nowadays, this place will function just fine without ten walls and everyone here will be much happier.”
“We’ll probably knock these walls down and throw them on the scrapheap,” added Rodrigues. “It seems an awful shame to do it to ten walls that still seem to function quite well but I guess that’s what happens to walls that people hate. Maybe, if they’d been more open to people, like windows, we’d still need them here but I really don’t think anyone will see these ten walls here in DC10 any time in the near future.”
Unconfirmed reports suggest that Russian President Vladimir Putin is interested in buying the unwanted walls from DC10 to use in his own personal nightclub, where resident DJ Ten Walls plays to a group of angry, skin headed, Russian men every night.