Madouvits on the session rising in North Dublin. Spell of good weather and tunes blamed
A large outbreak of Madouvits – chungwans and chungfellas having the luffly buzz – has been reported in Dublin’s north inner city. Gardai reports indicate that the number of cases of session related euphoria have topped 800 with nearly 500 cases reported in East Wall alone, the epicenter of this year’s outbreak.
One scared resident, Eileen Taaffe, described the dramatic transformation that came over her twenty four year old son, ‘He normally helps me with the messages of a Friday afternoon, ‘Eileen explained, ‘but when I opened the curtains in his room he saw the sunlight and something happened to him. I came back later that day to find him out the back with his top off and dancing.’
Eileen continued, ‘When I asked him did he want a cup of tea he told me to fuck off and get him a can from the fridge. So I got him one and left til the fever passed.’
Gardai were initially baffled as to the cause of the recent spate of manglers but a scientific report issued by the College of Surgeons has pinpointed the exact cause of the epidemic. Sun + Drink = Session.
Following this analysis police have blamed the flare up of madouvits on cheap alcohol and the Irish summer weather, which this year lasted for a record breaking six days.
Wunderground interviewed two obviously scaldy men at a local dole queue, Barry Foxe and Anto Beans. They had this to say about the upsurge in the party attitude, ‘It’s just too bleedin’ nice out to be not sessionin’; dyagnomean?!’
With Beans adding ‘I was meant to get up yesterday and help out bringin’ the kids to school n’ all, but with this weather I got sucked into the sesh and I said fuck tha, wha?!’
The outbreak has mostly affected the young population although there have been reports of cases in a few older individuals.
Despite best efforts of police the cases of madouvits continue to rise, it is hoped however that the recent downturn in the weather will have an effect and help stabilise the rise in the number of cases.