“Guest List Already Closed” Code Word For “Fuck Off You Stingy Cunt”


Sources within the music industry have revealed that the term “guest list already closed” is actually an encrypted code word for “fuck off you stingy cunt”.

According to Instagram account TheSectretPromoter, the guest list is never actually fully closed and anyone who has ever been told otherwise has basically just been told to “fuck off”.

“Do you honestly think that someone who’s either running an event, managing a club or pretty much in charge of every aspect of what’s happening in a club can’t get a name on a list because the time has gone beyond some imaginary line?” TheSectretPromoter asked during a chat with Wunderground earlier today. “Well, they can, and pretty easily too.”

“If you’ve been told that the guest list is already closed, it’s basically just the promoter, or whoever, calling you a stingy cunt and telling you to go and pay for your own entrance fee,” continued the anonymous source. “So, the next time someone says it to you, you should tell them to go and fuck themselves back.”

“In fact, the next time someone tells you the guest list is already closed tell them to go shove their guestlist up their arse because there’s no way you’d go inside their poxy venue anyway,” advised TheSecretPromoter. “That’s a classic case of reverse psychology and is guaranteed to work on promoters. You’ll be in that club quicker than you can say ‘cheap list closes at eleven’.”

“I really shouldn’t be telling you all of this,” he claimed while looking over both of his shoulders to make sure there were no other promoters or promoters’ spies within earshot. “But there actually isn’t a cheap list at all, only a dear list, the cheap list is actually the normal price and anyone who pays over that is getting ripped off. I’d be murdered if I was caught giving this information away.”

In related news, TheSecretPromoter also revealed that drink tokens actual value is less than ten percent of their retail value and that early bird tickets don’t actually exist, they’re just regular tickets.

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“Guest List Already Closed” Code Word For “Fuck Off You Stingy Cunt”

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