Local Promoters Now Only Competing To See Who Can Lose The Most Money


A group of local promoters have become locked in a bitter battle to see who can lose the most money over the course of this year.

According to Wunderground sources, a fierce rivalry has developed amongst a group of approximately fifteen promoters in the small town.

Reports suggest that there is currently one promoter for every five people who regularly go clubbing in the town, making it one of the most over-saturated areas in world clubbing.

“It’s fierce competitive around here,” claimed one local, who is first cousins with at least three of the promoters and also dates a fourth promoter’s sister. “It’s a very small town and we have lots of different brands all trying to take control of the nightlife so there’s a lot of competition and it can get quite cut throat at times.”

“The only problem is, there are only two clubs in the town and they’re both shite,” continued our source. “But it doesn’t stop all of these promoters coming in and spending a fortune to bring in these big international names, even though half of the people around here have never heard of them. They must be losing a fortune.”

“It’s funny, they all claim to be taking a new approach by booking ‘only the biggest names in house and techno’ but if they’re all doing it they’re basically the exact same as each other. Breath of fresh air my hole, they may as well just all team up and lose money together, rather than all of them losing their bollox individually.”

“MK played to fourteen people here last week,” he continued. “Ten of them didn’t have a clue who he was, they were just there for a late drink, it’s a waste of time.”

Peter Smith, a struggling promoter, claims that promoting in the town is not about making money, it’s about looking good to people outside of the town.

“There’s plenty of big towns out there who think we’re all a bit slow around here and that we haven’t a clue about promoting but that’s not true,” he told us. “I’ve booked over fifteen international acts and lost almost £20K in the last twelve months, just to throw a few parties, if that’s not promoting, I don’t know what is.”

This groundbreaking piece of journalism is brought to you by How To Promote Good – Wunderground’s new comedy series & clubnight @ Hï Ibiza

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Local Promoters Now Only Competing To See Who Can Lose The Most Money

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