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August 23, 2019
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Man In Coma After Asking Techno Producer A Question About Synth

An inquisitive man has reportedly been left in a coma after asking a techno producer a simple question about a synth they were using.

Miles Davison, thirty three, was rushed to hospital with a severe case of hyper-boredom after the electronic music producer gave him a detailed rundown on the synth’s capabilities.

Mr Davison’s family are believed to be holding a bedside vigil in the hope that their presence will help rouse him from his deep sleep.

Adnan Djimalli, Mr Davison doctor, claims that his patient is in a critical but comfortable condition, “I’ve never seen anyone with a case of boredom as bad as this,” the doctor told Wunderground earlier. “He was literally within minutes of being bored to death but, thankfully, the coma kicked in before the producer started the fifth hour of their answer.”

“Another sentence or two and we could have been dealing with someone who was actually dead, instead of someone who is dead-bored,” the doctor explained. “Thankfully, with a case of dead-bored, there’s a seventy percent chance of survival, whereas people who are actually dead, very rarely survive.”

“We’re hoping that he will wake naturally within the next forty-eight hours,” Dr Djimalli continued. “But if he doesn’t we will be forced to draw on his face with a permanent marker and tip an ice-cold bottle of water over his head to help induce him out of his coma.”

According to reports, since Mr Davison’s “accident”, the techno producer has locked himself in his parent’s basement, although it is not believed he is in hiding, he is most likely just working on some “killer tracks”.

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