A man who has 4 cans of Heineken back in his fridge at home has invited a large percentage of the nightclub’s attendees back for a party, reassuring them that he has drinks at home.
Rory McDonald, a twenty seven year old IT specialist from Bristol had been enjoying a night out in his local “PRYZM Nightclub” when the night did what it so often tends to do on nights out, and it ended.
“I could not fucking believe the cheek of it” declared a quite ‘peppy’ Mr. McDonald, whilst looking quite the cheeky chappy himself, chewing gum with an unmistakable lust for life and a glint in his eye only a 27 year old IT consultant with 4 cans of Heineken at home could muster.
“How and ever, me being me, never one to say no, I said to the lot.. to everybody, back to mine folks!”
“There was the usual enquiries. How far is it, is there beers, you’re not a nonce are you? etc etc”
“I assured everybody it was just around the corner, I had drink, and no, I like ladies and lots of them.”
“And so I took my little kiddie-loving-self and all my new mates on a thirty-two mile taxi ride back to my house where I promptly hid two of the cans, opened one for myself and walked out of the kitchen and offered the fourth one up to the group like some kind of modern day Jesus, except instead of loaves and fishes I have a solitary can of the Heineken and zero magical powers, you get me?”
“Who needs fucking loaves and fishes at a party anyway?”
“What a fucking twat Jesus must have been!”