New iPhone Capable Of Playing Music For Longer Than Marco Carola


Unconfirmed reports suggest the new iPhone 11 may be capable of playing music for even longer than Marco Carola.

Reviews claim the state of the art phone’s battery life is “not bad” and even suggest it may be the first Apple phone without a shit battery.

“This iPhone is definitely slightly better than the last one,” explained Adrian Daly, who has owned every single version of the iPhone since its release and is described as “having more money that sense”. “But, the thing I like best about it, apart from telling people I’ve got one, is the new and improved battery life.”

“You could quite easily play music on this for eleven or twelve hours,” continued Mr Daly. “When you think about it, that’s way longer than a DJ would play music for, even that little baldy Italain lad, and it’d cost way more than £1,200 to get him around to your gaff to play a few songs, so it’s actually really good value.”

Carola, best known for his “world-class” impression of the Cookie Monster from Sesame Street, is said to be outraged by the claims and insists he regularly DJs for periods of up to ninety six hours.

“Twelve hours, I DJ for twelve hours with my eyes closed,” the Italian DJ scoffed this afternoon. “I once played a twelve hour intro into one of my sets so, let me tell you, twelve hours is nothing to be fucking bragging about it. Babies can play music for twelve hours so I’m not surprised a phone can.”

“Come back to me when your phone can play for three or even four days straight,” he continued aggressively. “Or when you’re phone has custom made nappies designed so it doesn’t have to nip out for a shit while it’s playing music, then I’ll be impressed, but not by this twelve hour bollox.”

“If Apple wants to throw down and challenge me to a DJ off I’ll do it,” he claimed. “I’m not afraid of them, I’ll take that challenge any day of the week, I’ll take it right here, right now if they want, I’ve got a USB with over four year’s worth of music on it exactly for moments like this. I’m always ready.”

According to reports, Apple have declined Marco Carola’s challenge to a DJ off, although it is believed they have accepted a separate challenge from the DJ, to see which is shiner, the iPhone 11 or his head.

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New iPhone Capable Of Playing Music For Longer Than Marco Carola

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