It has been revealed that Smokey, a nine year old cat living in Basingstoke, has confirmed he will be dressing up as a “slutty teenage girl” this Halloween in an attempt to “level the playing field” with those who have been tarnishing the “good name of cats” for so long.
It is believed that the adorable yet deadly tabby has “had enough” of “idiot” teenage girls dressing up as slutty cats every year, as it gives his kind a bad name so she has constructed a squad to give “those slags” a taste of their own medicine.
“It pisses us off to no end,” an aggressive Smokey told us. “These hoes go out and drag our clean image through the mud. I think it’s part of the reason so many of us need to be rehomed by the RSPCA every year. People think we are some kind of sex fiends, when in fact all we do is eat, sleep, shit and scratch the place up. You don’t see these girls going out dressed as a slutty goldfish, or a sexy hamster, do you? They’ve been getting away with it for too long.”
Wunderground spoke with Pusspuss, a three year old black cat, who is part of the Halloween crew looking to fight back, “Fuck the system,” he shouted enthusiastically. “I’m up for sticking it to those bitches. I hate them more than I hate dogs. If I can get some sort of revenge on them, while getting stroked and given treats, it will be a good night’s work. All I’ve got to do is rub myself up against a human leg and they are usually putty in my hands anyway – so the fact I’ll be dressed all sexy and that will make it so much more fun.”