A stoner who is set to make his tenth trip to Amsterdam this week is insisting that he will “do some touristy stuff this time”.
Twenty eight year old Steven Hamilton has been making the annual trip to Amsterdam since he turned eighteen in January 2006 and has so far failed to make it beyond the city’s coffeeshops and Red Light District.
“This is definitely the year I’ll make it to see all the touristy stuff, there’s no way I’m going to waste my time sitting in coffeeshops the whole time I’m there again,” claimed Steven during a chat with Wunderground. “I smoke about one ninth less weed than I used to so it should be pretty easy to get myself out and about in the city.”
According to Irishman Hamilton, there is a plethora of activities away from his usual hangouts to keep him sufficiently amused during his short visit.
“It’s a beautiful city,” he continued. “Well, at least everything within a ten minute radius of Central Station is beautiful, I haven’t really seen any of the other parts of it but I’m sure they’re also lovely. There’s loads of things to do, like the the Anne Frank Museum, the Van Gogh Museum and the Heineken factory tour, none of which involve getting stoned, although, I’d say they’re much better if you are a little bit stoned.”
“I’ll probably start everyday in the Hill Street Blues Coffeeshop, you know just to get myself stocked up for the day, and then go from there,” explained Hamilton, who has a €1,200 “weed and hooker budget” saved for his three day trip. “I’ll obviously have to smoke a joint and see one of the girls in the Red Light before I do anything else, you don’t want to be navigating that city unstoned with a full sack, that’s just asking for trouble.”
“Once I’ve done that the world, well at least Amsterdam, is my oyster,” he continued. “But it is really hard to find your way around over there, everything looks very similar so I best not stray too far off the beaten track. If I stop off at every coffeeshop I find I’ll be able to trace my footsteps, a bit like Hansel and Gretel, only instead of breadcrumbs I’ll be using a hazy trail of spliffs to find my way back. What could possibly go wrong?”
At the time of going to print, it was reported that Mr. Hamilton had visited one brothel, three bars and six coffeeshops but as yet has failed to make it to any of the tourist destinations listed above.