Postal workers in the UK are preparing for chaos in the lead up to summer as it has today been announced that the Terminal 1 stage at WeAreFSTVL will be so large in size it must now be allocated its own postcode.
The stage, which is slightly smaller than the Great Wall Of China but slightly larger than Luxembourg, features 24,000 ft of LED, 1200 lights, 10,000 fireworks and 10 lasers, as well as 66 helipads, a school, its own underground railway system, a Disney world, 12 McDonald’s, a petting zoo and its own missile defense system.
“Yeah it’s fucking massive.” a source close to the festival said earlier.
“They didn’t mean to order it that big, mind you. It was a complete accident. I mean, who the fuck orders a 450-foot stage? They meant to order a 45 foot. So this will probably bankrupt them, to be honest. But at least they’ll go out in style. I think it cost 7 thousand billion million… or something like that.”
It’s believed Heathrow Airport have put in a bid to buy the stage ahead of the We Are FSTVL weekend, a purchase which would save them millions on their new runway project as it’s believed the Terminal 1 stage comes with 4 runways already built in, along with a spare in the boot, just in case.
“Not on my fucking nelly” remarked Jenny, a devout We Are FSTVL go-er from Upminster. “I love that stage and I haven’t even been to the bloody thing yet. It’s got everything you could ever want and now when I lose my mates I don’t have to wander around for hours on end aimlessly looking for them, I can just give them the postcode and I’m sorted!”
“Heathrow can do one!”