Ugly DJs Work Ten Times Harder – Confirms Study

A study carried out by DJ Mag Mongolia has found that ugly DJs work ten times harder than aesthetically pleasing DJs.

The study also revealed that good looking DJs were four times more likely to get regular paid gigs and a whopping fifteen times more likely to find their way onto a festival line up.

Genghis Ganbataar, DJ Mag Mongolia’s editor-in-chief, spoke to Wunderground, “Here in Mongolia we’ve got a lot of very talented but ugly DJs. Unfortunately for them, their hideousness is probably why you don’t see many Mongolian DJs playing in any of the world’s biggest clubs. It would seem that it’s not what or who you know in this game, it’s what you look like that gets you success.”

“People just don’t want to dance in front of DJs who look like they’ve gone twelve rounds with the ugly stick,” continued Mr Ganbataar. “And they certainly don’t want to take a selfie with some minger with a face like a bag of spam. It’s the twenty first century, people want white skin, perfect teeth and symmetrical features, not some Quasimodo look-a-like.”

“Opportunities for ugly DJs are few and far between these days,” claimed the DJ Mag editor. “It’s not like the 90s where people like DJ Sneak, whose face looks like it was made out of disfigured squirrel genitalia, were able to make it big despite their horrendous appearance.”

“Nowaday, if you’re not willing to suck off a promoter or a club owner, you’ll have to work at least ten times harder than the pretty boys, or girls, to catch a break. It doesn’t seem fair but that’s life, just ask Deadmau5, one of the hardest working, and ugliest, DJs on Earth.”

According to Mr Ganbataar, ways that ugly DJs can get themselves noticed include; wearing a stupid mask, having extensive plastic surgery to make you look like Hot Since 82, becoming a celebrity, teaming up with an attractive DJ as part of a duo and pursuing a career as a radio DJ.