Clubbing

Jon Snow To Have Dance Off With White Walker At Festival Forte

News of a major dance off between Jon Snow and a White Walker at this summer’s Festival Forte has shaken the music industry this afternoon.

The festival, held in the eleventh century Castle of MONTEMOR-O-VELHO on 24, 25 & 26 August, has been named as the number one destination for Game of Thrones characters who are looking to escape the mundane reality of war torn Westeros.

“We’ve sold tickets to quite a lot of Game of Thrones characters,” confirmed festival spokesperson Nina Almeida. “Obviously, it’s mostly nobles and high born characters, there’s no way your average peasant from the Flea Bottom slums would be able to afford interdimensional tourism.”

“It’s one of the only places on Earth where the show’s characters can come and really feel comfortable,” continued Almeida. “We’re big fans of the show too so we’ve been encouraging anyone who’s coming to really get involved and we’re delighted to announce that Jon Snow and the Knight’s King have agreed to sort out their differences with a dance off.”

“It’s a classic good versus evil battle for the dancefloor and I can’t wait to see the two of them get down. We’ve even arranged a Dornish Wine reception before it all kicks off.”

“Jon Snow’s really got his work cut out for him,” claimed dance off expert Kevin Bacon. “He might be the King of the North, the former Lord Commander of the Knight’s Watch and one hell of a fighter but the poor chap dances like he’s got a broom handle up his arse, he’s really going to have to pull something special out of the bag here.”

“On the other hand, the Knight’s King is a natural born groover. We’ve not seen much of him on the telly but when he did that hands in the air move at the end of the Battle of Hardhome you could tell he had style and rhythm. They say no party is dead whenever he’s around.”

Reports that Richie Hawtin was due to make a surprise appearance at the festival have been rubbished after it was confirmed he was mistaken for a little known Lannister cousin who will act as an on-site chaperone for Queen Cersei.

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