Reports from San Antonio, Ibiza, have emerged of an extremely rare sighting of a Scottish man not in a Glasgow Rangers or Glasgow Celtic football top.
Historically, San Antonio has been a hotspot for flocks of Scottish men aged between seventeen and twenty four, all in football t-shirts, causing some sort of anarchy. However, this unique occurrence has not gone unnoticed, with locals all contacting media authorities to discuss what they have seen.
“We couldn’t believe our eye,s” claimed twenty five year old ticket seller Annabelle Smith. “Each and every year we are overrun with groups of Scottish boys drinking too much, throwing up and eventually arguing over who is better, Rangers or Celtic. Either they fight amongst themselves or they target outsiders, usually English or Spanish, in a bid to start a conversation about their beloved team they so proudly represent every single day and every single night of their two week stay.”
Wunderground managed to speak to the much talked about “black vested Scottish youth” in a bid to find out why he parted from the pack, “Yes I realise I am the black sheep of Glasgow,” said twenty three year old Mark Kerr. “I used to wear my Rangers top everywhere I went but as I got older I realised I looked like a fucking prick. Don’t get me wrong, I love my club and still watch all the matches, but there are other clothes out there.”
“The first time I decided to swap my football jersey for a plain t-shirt was a really weird occasion. I almost had an out of body experience and felt like I was betraying my kind. However, after twenty minutes some really fit bird tried to chat me up which never happened while I dressed like a nine year old. I felt empowered, confident and have never looked back. I implore all Scottish men to give up their football kits or risk being avoided by women for the rest of your lives.”
