Police were called to a bus stop in South East London after a ninety two year old woman slapped a sixteen year old girl around the face for listening to loud music in public, accusing her of anti-social behaviour.
It is believed that Ethel Cornelius, resident at Happy Homes Care Home, was on her way back from picking up her latest prescription for arthritis, when she simply “lost her shit” with college student Kayleigh Baines, referring to her as a “proper little ho with an appalling taste in music”.
“People assume that because I’m old I won’t say anything, but that’s not the case with me,” declared a proud Ethel. “I asked her three times to turn it down but she ignored me. Then she decided to throw shade my way, that’s when I went for her. I slapped the phone out of her hand and gave her a cheeky dig in the face, before onlookers pulled us apart. I swear down, if she had come at me again I’d have finished her off, the skank.”
Despite this story reaching the news, it isn’t an isolated incident, with OAP’s up and down the country, not only standing up to a generation of disrespectful youngsters, but challenging them on a daily basis.
“If I’m being honest, I don’t mind people playing music on their phones in public, as long as the music is on point,” continued Ethel. “I could really get on board with a bit of swing from the forties, rock ‘n’ roll from the sixties, or techno from the last five years. What I can’t stand is fucking hip hop. It’s plain shit and only dickheads listen to it. Perhaps next time I will politely ask the youth in question to put on a bit of Bing Crosby, The Beatles or Stephan Bodzin, before I decide to take their face clean off.”
