Emo super-group, My Chemical Romance, have released an official statement confirming they are to go forward in music as a deep house act, following a spiritual awakening in Ibiza this summer.
The platinum selling emo-rock group, who are famous for turning nice, upbeat children into moody, depressed teenagers who hate their parents, are said to be “fucking stoked” to have taken their sound in a brand new direction, claiming deep house lovers will be “totally won over” by their productions.
“The whole band agreed we needed to stop being pale fuckers and chose to come to Ibiza to get a tan,” announced frontman, Gerard Way. “We couldn’t believe the upbeat, party lifestyle out here and after a few nights getting on the ket, making friends with strangers and letting repetitive beats take over our brains, we decided to give deep house a whirl. There’s not much difference at all between emo rock and deep house. We don’t have to give up the black t-shirts or dark glasses. We are already covered in shit tattoos and when we perform we can be as miserable and detached from our audience as we choose to be.”
“You’ve seen that bloke, Johnny, from Art Department, and those lads from Tale Of Us, right?” asked Gerard. “Looks wise, you couldn’t pick any of us out of a line up. So all we need to do is master the art of making a dancefloor belter rather than a academy anthem, and we’ve nailed it. Whatever you do, don’t compare us to Sonny Moore, AKA Skrillex. That cunt was a decent emo vocalist back in the day, but let himself down by going all EDM. We are serious musicians so it’s deep house all day long for us.”
Wunderground spoke to twenty four year old, Connie Richmond, regarding the emo kings making a name for themselves in deep house, “This is fantastic,” she screamed. “I absolutely loved My Chemical Romance three years ago, I carved their logo into my arm with a metal compass and ink. They were my life before I got too cool for emo and transformed into a house music loving, ket head. I know so many people who have abandoned their roots of boy bands, hip-hop, rock, pop and country, all based on one weekend in Ibiza. The fact bands are doing it now too is amazing. I hope they make a deep house remix album of Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge.”
