Reports emerging from the electronic music industry today suggest that former A-Team tough guy B.A. Baracus has been hired as Eric Prydz’s tour manager.
Prydz is believed to see Baracus, who famously refused to get on any planes despite being a member of the United States Army Special Forces, as the perfect tour manager due to their shared aviophobia.
“Not only is B.A. handy to have around if things get rough, he’s also extremely empathetic to my condition and I know he won’t pressure me to use, or try to book me onto, any mode of transport that leaves the ground,” explained Prydz earlier. “I think I can safely speak for both B.A. and myself, in term of my touring schedule for the foreseeable future, when I say we ain’t gettin on no plane!”
Wunderground also spoke to Baracus, “I’m delighted with my new job,” he told us. “There isn’t exactly a whole lot of work for mercenaries who are in their sixties and afraid to fly so when Eric approached me about the possibility of becoming his tour manager I jumped at the opportunity.”
“I don’t have a lot of experience in tour managing but I do have quite a lot of relatable experience,” continued Baracus. “There are direct similarities between breaking someone out of a secure military psychiatric unit or saving a ranch from a group of greedy property developers and managing someone’s tour schedule. It’s all about logistics and that’s an area where I know I’m shit hot.”
“I just hope that Mr Prydz knows what he’s gotten himself into. I think that he thinks the B.A. in my name stands for Bad Ass,” he explained. “But, it actually stands for Bad Attitude and I got the nickname because of my terrible work ethic. As long as he doesn’t expect me to work weekends, Mondays or Fridays, before noon and after three, we’ll be alright. I pity the fool if he thinks I’ll be doing that.”
Rumours suggest that Baracus will also be given the task of building the entire rig for Prydz’s upcoming tour, using nothing other than wasted batteries, four six meter lengths of pipe, a pack of elastic bands and a set of bicycle lights.
