A modern day Jesus has reportedly turned water into wine by adding a total of thirty-nine other ingredients to it.
Full-time carpenter, and amateur homebrew enthusiast, Joe Hova claims to have discovered the ultimate wine recipe, using nothing but household items.
“It’s a bit of a miracle if I’m being perfectly honest with you,” Mr Hova told Wunderground earlier. “I’ve been homebrewing since well before it was cool. In fact, when I started doing this, people thought I was some sort of weird, skinflint alcoholic. Little did they know, I was actually just a weird alcoholic, it was actually quite an expensive hobby back then.”
“In my time brewing, I’ve constantly been trying to crack the perfect wine formula,” continued Hova. “It’s a lot more difficult than beer, the fermentation process with wine is a completely different when you compare a home brewing scenario to an industrial scenario so it’s really hard to find the right balance and create a plonk that you actually want to drink for its taste rather than just for the fact that it gets you totally shit faced.”
“That’s led me to move away from conventional recipes and concentrate on coming up with my own,” explained the homebrewer. “It’s kind of become a bit of an obsession of mine recently. I’ve been experimenting with all sorts of different combinations of ingredients, mostly things that can be found in the average garden shed.”
“It hasn’t always been plain sailing,” revealed Hova. “I’ve had fifteen cases of temporary blindness, one case of paralysis and a Mr Hyde episode that I’d really rather not talk about but, thankfully, my hard work has finally paid off. I’ve turned water into wine and all it took was thirty-nine other ingredients.”
In other news, Mr Hova is believed to be planning a party of “biblical proportions” to celebrate his achievement. While a venue has not yet be finalised it is believed Mr Hova’s preferred choice is in the middle of the Red Sea.
