Slightly Strange

Bloke Claims He’d Suck A Horse’s Cock For Free Ket

A bloke frantically searching for Ketamine at a house party has claimed that he would happily “suck a horses cock for free ket”.

Michael O’Brien, a twenty three year old from Dublin, Ireland, made the claim early Sunday morning after exhausting every possible ketamine contact in his phone.

Unfortunately for Mr O’Brien, Stephen Wilson, a horse owner, was also at the party when the twenty three year old made his claim.

“I can’t believe that prick with the horses was at the party,” claimed Mr O’Brien earlier on today. “I was just trying to impress people by saying I’d suck a horses dick for some free ket, I’ve a bit of a reputation around the party scene for being a bit of a mad cunt and great craic so I’d often say things like that, the more disgusting the better. You know, for the shock factor and that?”

“When you think about it it doesn’t even make sense,” continued O’Brien. “I mean, it’s not like a horse would even have any ket to give me if I sucked his dick and there’s no research to suggest that horses even enjoy having their dicks sucked anyway, it really was a throw away comment.”

“Then that posh cunt stands up and goes ‘I’ve a bit of ket here’ and straight after I took a bump he goes ‘you can suck my horses dick on Thursday’,” revealed Mr O’Brien. “He’s left me in a right bastard of a position. On the one hand, I don’t want to seem like I’m all mouth or not true to my word and risk losing my reputation but, on the other hand, I definitely don’t want to suck a horse’s dick.”

“Maybe I can come to some sort of deal where I only have to give the horse a handjob, either way I’m definitely not making him cum.”

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