In refreshing news, it seems that the entire population of the world has now gone back to not caring about deep house.
The genre, which gained “more popularity than a first-year college student who swaps blowjobs for tic tacs” during the period between 2011 and 2016, has now returned to its normal status and is considered “less popular than DJ Carnage in an all you can eat chimichanga restaurant”.
Barry Glennon, who once claimed that “deep house is life”, now believes the genre has gone full circle and is currently hovering somewhere around his “thirty-second favourite genre”.
“Before we start, can I just say that I liked deep house way before it was cool,” Glennon said firmly. “I’m not one of these bandwagon music fans that just follows the acts with the most viral videos on Facebook, although you can probably tell that by the Solardo t-shirt I’m wearing and the fact that I’m an admin on one of Fisher’s biggest fan groups on Facebook.”
“But anyway, how 2013 was deep house?” he asked. “I was only a kid back then and I got caught up in all the hype but I’ve grown up a lot since then, I’m twenty-three now but I’m easily as mature as a twenty-four-year-old and once I saw how popular deep house had become, about three weeks ago, I started to distance myself from the genre.”
“I’m much more into tech house these days,” continued Glennon, a former member of Swedish Bungalow Cartel, an under fifteens Swedish House Mafia tribute act who headlined a school talent show in 2011. “Now there’s a genre that’s going to be around for the long haul. It’s like house music and techno music all rolled into one easily marketable package and I for one am buying into it with every penny I’ve got.”
According to unofficial reports, the exact moment deep house became shit can be traced all the way back to the release of Calvin Harris & The Disciples’ 2015 track How Deep Is Your Love.