Grown Man Surprised To Find That Drinking Calpol Still Makes Him Feel Good


A fully grown man has been left pleasantly surprised after discovering that drinking Calpol still makes him feel good.

Andrew Decker, thirty, is believed to have downed two bottle of the popular children’s medicine in a move he labeled the “double Decker”.

“Calpol is fucking awesome,” he told Wunderground. “I remember I used to absolutely love the stuff when I was a ki, I used to fake being sick all of the time just so I could get a couple of spoonfuls of that sticky pink nectar down my throat. Then, one day a couple of weeks ago, I just got a real craving for it so I went out and bought a couple of bottles.”

“I had a spoonful and it was lovely but then I thought ‘you know what Andrew, you’re not a kid anymore’ so, fuck it, I downed two bottles of the stuff,” continued Decker,an avid believer in self medicating. “I have to say, I did feel a little sickly at first, but after about thirty minutes I was flying, it’s the best fun I’ve had with medicine since the dentist left me alone with the gas bottle running.”

“Now, I’m having a double Decker nearly every single day,” claimed the man. “It’s a really great way to kickstart your morning and makes dealing with things like the traffic, you’re job or you’re children a whole lot easier. I don’t know why I ignored this stuff for most of my adult life, drinking it that day is up there with the best things I’ve ever done.”

“Not only does it make you feel great, it gives you a good laugh too,” revealed Decker. “After a couple of weeks of drinking two bottles a day, it turns your poo completely pink. Between the lovely warm buzz and the colourful poo, Calpol really is the highlight of my day.”

However, not everyone agrees with Mr Decker, with Stacy Grimmins, a neighbour of the Calpol drinker claiming he’s wasting his time drinking children’s medicine.

“What’s the matter with him? Calpol? That’s bloody child’s play that,” she scoffed. “Solpadeine is where it’s at. Codeine, paracetamol and caffeine all rolled into one beautiful little pill. Get a half a pack of that into you and you’ll never drink that Calpol shit again. Fucking timewaster.”

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Grown Man Surprised To Find That Drinking Calpol Still Makes Him Feel Good

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