“I’ve Partied With Jackmaster” Claims Every Scottish Person Ever


Jackmaster Buckfast Scottish Tunnocks Irn Bru Wunderground

It has been revealed that, at one time or another, every single person from Scotland has claimed to have partied with Jackmaster.

The Glasgow born DJ, real name Jack Revill, has enjoyed a steady rise to stardom over the past ten years, playing everywhere from Dumfries to Las Vegas and leaving the five million Scottish population with no alternative but to boast about the great times they once had with the boy they refer to as “one of their own”.

“I’ve known him since he was a wee laddie,” claims thirty seven year old bagpipe enthusiast, Angus McFadden. “He was always into his house and techno from a very young age so it’s no wonder he is taking the world by storm. Right about now I’m just waiting for his call as I think a techno fused version of my bagpipe hit, Haggis Delight, could be a true club belter, you know?”

For Jackmaster, whose ever growing status in the music scene has put him on par with Nessie the Loch Ness Monster in the popularity stakes, the attention isn’t always enjoyable due to the amount of times he is approached during his sets by one of his fellow countrymen asking if he remembers them from about town.

“When I played at Sonus Festival in Croatia last year, the whole club was full of Scottish lads walking around in their Rangers and Celtic tops waiting for me to begin playing,” laughed Jackmaster. “About an hour into my set I realised my tunes were being drowned out as three thousand whiskyed-up men stood in unison and sang Flower OF Scotland directly at me. Then out of nowhere, they started punching each other’s heads in. It was so overwhelming, I almost cried but remembered I’m Scottish, hard as nails and we do not cry; so I threw a couple of swings myself.”

Wunderground managed to speak with Duncan McDoogle, a twenty nine year old year old warehouse operative at the Irn-Bru factory in Aberdeen, “As a nation we are incredibly proud of our heritage,” boasted Duncan. “In the nineties we all partied with Ewan McGregor. In the naughties we all partied with Gordon Ramsey. Now it is Jackmaster’s turn. Anytime he wants a few bottles of this beautiful orange potion all he has to do is see me and I’ll sort my brother out. Did I mention that I partied with him up the Tunnock’s Tea Cakes Christmas bash in 1997? Best night of my life.”

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“I’ve Partied With Jackmaster” Claims Every Scottish Person Ever

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