A man who said he’d retire from going to raves when he turned thirty has been spotted down the front of a Carl Cox set, out of his nut, at thirty eight years old.
Local estate agent, Dave Owen, who made his huge announcement about “retiring from the scene” over eight years ago in a deep and emotional Facebook status, which came on the back of a three day bender, is said to be “delighted” he never hung up his dancing shoes and believes he can “out do” any twenty one year old who wants to challenge him.
“When I said I was retiring, I was on a big fuck off comedown and it was the night before my thirtieth birthday,” he reminisced. “I was a miserable cunt that day, my kids were pissing me off and I just wanted to sleep. Giving it all up was never a true option. I’m more of a raver now than I was in my twenties. The fact I’m down the front, absolutely getting off my tits proves that I have a young mentality. Most people tell me I don’t look thirty eight either. I always get told I look twenty six. I don’t dress my age and I always fit in with younger people. I reckon I can carry on doing this until I’m sixty.”
Wunderground managed to speak to Dave’s eighteen year old daughter, Chloe, regarding her dad’s antics, “It’s so embarrassing,” she moaned. “I want to go to my first rave but I’m petrified I will run into him. My mum divorced him a few years ago and he got himself a girlfriend who was three school years above me. He thinks he looks young but he’s a cringy old man. I can’t imagine him doing his dad-dancing at a rave. What must people think?”
“I hope Chloe does come to a rave one day,” Dave told us. “I’m more like her mate than her dad. I think we’d have a right good laugh together. All her mates think I’m a ‘cool dad’, so it would be absolutely epic if she came to Ibiza with her friends while I was here. We could make it a really fun group holiday.”