Local warm-up DJ Mark Watkins has lost over 40 gigs since the pandemic first closed music venues back in March 2020.
“It’s saved me over three thousand euro’” said a pretty chuffed Watkins.
“I was pretending to fill my tax returns last week in front of my parents, and I thought ‘what the heck’ sure I might actually do the maths for a laugh!”
“The final figures blew me away! I was wondering how I was able to afford to be gambling so much on the football every weekend. I never win anything gambling, but I had way more money to throw away than usual, so it just didn’t add up.”
“I had never really thought about it before. It’s all about the music, you know? Not about the maths, so… they never really came up.”
“Then I worked it out. I’m a warm-up DJ so obviously, I don’t get paid in actual cash, but I do get great exposure out of it. So when I see the promoters cashing up at the end of the night, and trying their hardest to cram the last of the fifty euro notes into their bag with a big grin on their face, I try to think of all that exposure I got and then I pull a big stupid grin too, to see if it helps.”
“It never really does.”
“So you have ‘lots of exposure’ in the income tab, along with a tenner some lad gave me because he thought I was the cloakroom.”
“The outgoings look a lot healthier! Obviously, I buy all my own drinks because I’ve not really ‘made it’ yet. Then you have taxis, buses, drinks for girls that pretend they like me… it all adds up.”
“All in all, I’ve saved a fortune. Well, I spent it in the bookies, but I saved it before I lost it.”
“Just think how much worse my finances would be if I hadn’t saved all that cash. It’s bloody brilliant isn’t it?”
Mark has confirmed he will continue turning down bookings once nightlife returns to normal, and expects this strategy to make him a millionaire within a few short years.