A man who was desperately trying to fit in at his first ever rave has told a number of people that TBC is his favourite DJ.
Peter Keating, who took some MDMA and talked shite for eight hours, was heard telling people that he “couldn’t wait” for TBC’s set and that he had seen him “four times in Ibiza last summer”.
“That fella who was walking around telling everyone he couldn’t wait to see TBC was a right good laugh,” claimed eyewitness Jane Jones. “The poor lad was totally mangled, even in a warehouse full of mangled people he still stuck out like a swollen dick in a pair lycra cycling shorts.”
“He must have come up to me about twenty times and asked me if I knew where TBC was playing and I kept telling him they hadn’t confirmed it, I honestly don’t even think he knew he was asking the same person over and over again, bless,” continued Jones. “It was like he was stuck in some sort of GHB and ketamine-induced time loop. Come to think of it, he probably was.”
“I didn’t have the heart to tell him that TBC actually means ‘To Be Confirmed’ and isn’t a DJ,” she empathetically revealed. “I also didn’t want to tell him that he wasn’t playing back to back with Special Guest and that he didn’t play four times in Space Ibiza last summer because it’s been closed since 2016.”
“Eventually, he got pretty annoying so I told my boyfriend to tell him to fuck off,” she revealed. “I heard somebody found him sucking his thumb under a table in the smoking area later that night, I guess he never got to see TBC in the end.”
