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September 5, 2018
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Promoter Hasn’t Enjoyed Club Night In 15 Years

A promoter who has been running events for just over fifteen years has admitted that he has still yet to enjoy one of his club nights.

Despite starting his own events so he could bring the acts he wanted to see to his favourite local venues for him and his friends to enjoy, David Clifford claims that the last club night he enjoyed was before he started promoting.

“When I started out in this game, I honestly thought it was going to be a bit of fun and a way to make some handy extra cash on the side,” Clifford told us. “Little did I know that fifteen years later, I’d be here with a head full of grey hair, an expensive drug habit, a stress-related gastric ulcer, an extra twenty-five pounds and four inches on my waist and yet to have one single night that I actually enjoyed.”

“I can still remember the last club night I enjoyed,” he continued. “It was the 23 July 2003, exactly a month before I started running my own events. I saw Sander Kleinenberg playing in Ministry of Sound, that was the moment I knew I wanted to be a promoter and I went home to Norwich the next day full of hope and enthusiasm.”

“But, I should have left it in fucking London because I’ve had nothing but stress and heartache ever since,” revealed the promoter. “Nobody ever tells you about all of the bullshit; the club managers, trying to sell tickets, trying to break even, dealing with primadonna DJs, booking agents, managers, dick head customers and just the all-round arseholerey that goes with running parties.”

“Maybe it’s because the demand in Norfolk isn’t high enough to be regularly running a stress-free night or maybe it’s just the worst job in the world but, either way, if I could do it all over again, I definitely fucking wouldn’t.”

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