New Pioneer Mixer Projects Logo Onto DJs Forehead
The new Pioneer XDJ-2023 has been unveiled, and DJs all over Clubland have been frothing at the gash just to get their hands on it. Possibly the most exciting, cutting-edge feature of
DJ Is An Expert At Syncing Tracks To The Firework Display, Somehow
DJs have evolved the ability to see into the future. Either that, or they’ve developed the ability to mindread stage production staff and know their every move before they make it, scientists
CDJ3000 Recalled After ‘Terminator Chip’ Mix-Up
Hundreds of Pioneer’s new CDJs have accidentally been given the CPU of an unstoppable, autonomous cybernetic assassin. Following a factory mishap, many faulty CDJ3000 units are transforming into shapeshifting killer organisms that
‘That’s What You Get For Moving To Mac’ Says Bill Gates
‘I warned you” was the statement from Bill Gates HQ earlier this morning. “I said a global pandemic was coming. I told you for years you weren’t prepared. I spent billions on
Man Installing 5G Tower Admits It Was Suicide
A man who installed a local 5G tower has admitted it was an act of suicide. Hans Burn, a network logistics operator with the New World Order has admitted to installing a
Pioneer To Launch First Acoustic CDJ
Pioneer DJ have announced plans to release the first ever acoustic CDJ, the CDJ 1, as part of their “next gen” DJ equipment line later this year. The device is set to
DJ To Start 4th Cable Drawer This Year
A local DJ has confirmed that he plans to start his fourth cable drawer at some point this year. Barry Angelo, a.k.a., DJ Banjo, confirmed the news during a late night drinking
Drugs To Be Available In Space By 2035 Says Elon Musk
A leading executive in SpaceX has claimed that the aerospace company plan to make drugs easily available on the Moon by the year 2035. Elon Musk, Head of Everything, claimed that we