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DJ Can’t Decide Whether To Open Show With “Make Some Noise!” Or “Make Some Fucking Noise!”

DJ Can’t Decide Whether To Open Show With “Make Some Noise!” Or “Make Some Fucking Noise!”

Wunderground has received breaking news that DJ Electrique has delayed his set because he can’t decide whether to start by screaming “make some noise!” or “make some fucking noise!”.

Reports suggest the festival headliner was spotted nervously pacing backstage, testing out the phrases over and over.

“Make some noise!…no no no that’s not it. Make some fucking noise’ No, what about ‘Dublin, make some fucking noise!’ Maybe that’s too intense,” he muttered frantically while slamming his hands against the wall.

The chart topper got increasingly discouraged as he failed to find the perfect opening for his show cycling between other common expressions such as “how’re you feeling Dublin?” and “you feeling good Dublin?”.

After fifteen minutes of incoherent mumbling, he fell silent and thumbed through a tattered book he’d clearly owned for years titled DJ Intro Lines for Dummies.

Eventually, his manager came over and told him it was time to go onstage, causing him to totally lose his shit, “Don’t rush me!” he snapped. “The thing I scream at the beginning of my set is the most important part of the show. Any good DJ knows that!”

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He then appeared to compose a rambling speech about how much “love” he felt from the crowd, “Oh wow, I can’t believe how much love is out there tonight and so much connection too. This crowd has the most connected love out of any crowd ever. Dublin you are so good at loving each other and connecting,” before breaking down and screaming broke down screaming “The words just aren’t flowing!”

At this point, he sat slumped against the wall shaking until our reporter left. When asked for a final comment all he could whimper was “without my opening banter…I’m nothing”.

At the time of going to press, it was revealed that the flustered DJ eventually did start his set forty-five minutes late by saying simply “What’s up Dublin?!” only to be informed that he was actually playing in London.

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