The English Defence League, or EDL, have reportedly signed a lucrative sponsorship deal with Belgian beer giants Stella Artois.
Reports suggest that the brewers will pay the EDL an annual six figure sum which will see them become the exclusive drink provider at all future EDL rallies.
“We are very proud to announce our partnership with the English Defence League,” claimed Lance Dickker, CEO of Stella Artois. “While they represent a public image that isn’t exactly ideal to have associated with our brand, they do drink quite a lot of beer and with the current world climate we believe that a lot of young impressionable morons will be fooled into drinking Stella by seeing older morons drinking it.”
Wunderground also spoke to an EDL spokesperson about the partnership, “There’s nothing I like better than trying to preserve the nature of Britain while drinking a Stella,” claimed a Dave, a local dickhead. “And there’s no way more greater than swigging beer and bashing foreigners and, believe me, there’s no better beer to get you in the mood for bashing than Stella.”
“The best thing about Stella is that it’s proper British beer,” claimed a confused Dave, known among his peers as a gormless fool. “Britain used to be called Great Britain but then all the foreigners came in and they changed the name of it to just Britain, now it’s time that all of us British people got together and made it great again. The only way to do that is to beat up foreigners, and gays, and Jews.”
“You see, with the money the government saves on paying them bloody foreigners their benefits, it’ll put more money in the pot for people like us, which will mean we won’t have to work at all and we’ll still be able to afford Stella and curries every night.”
According to reports, the EDL are set to up their commercial partnerships in an attempt to raise enough money to finally make Britain great again. Rumours suggest deals with Uncle Ben’s and The Sun are already at an advanced stage.