A man who returned to Ibiza on a lad’s holiday after a four year absence has spent his entire first night paranoid about being chucked out of Amnesia.
According to reports, twenty seven year old David Jones, from Cardiff, Wales, was “acting like a silly little girl” and “refused to get involved with narcotics” through fear that the security guard who evicted him from the club in 2012 had recognised his face.
“There’s no way I’m going to make myself a target for that bouncer again,” said a very cautious David, while continually looking over his shoulder. “Back in 2012 he caught me with a gram of coke and asked me politely to leave the club. He said I wasn’t allowed to bring drugs into his club and that I must go home. Four years on and I know he remembers me. I imagine this time he wouldn’t be as polite and would no doubt rough me up, steal my wallet and call the Spanish police to throw me in a cell for the week. Like fuck am I up for that. No way, Pedro.”
Wunderground spoke with David’s friend Johnny with regards to his very silly behaviour, “As if that fucking bouncer remembers him,” laughed Johnny. “He’s a pussy for not getting on it. He thinks every bouncer has a photographic memory or something. Last time this giant Spanish bloke was so calm and polite, he literally told David to go home. He didn’t ban him or anything. The cunt is ruining my vibe by telling me to be careful every two minutes and warning me the bouncers are looking.“
“The boys have asked if I’m going to get on it in DC10 tomorrow, but I ain’t sure,” continued David. “What if this bouncer from Amnesia phones the head of security at DC10 and gives them my description? I just ain’t sure I want to risk it. I might just drink and leave it at that.”